Monday, February 9, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You...Kinda

This past weekend a couple of girlfriends and I watched the latest Romantic Comedy out in theatres. He's Just Not That Into You is based on the namesake self-help book written by Greg Behrendt aimed to help us females understand a bit about the male psyche when it comes to dating and relationships.
Some points of the movie were right on and quite funny. Others had potential but fizzled into
nothingness. The first scene shows a group of young children running about in a playground. While a sweet young girl is playing in the sandbox, a snotty boy comes up to her and says something to the effect of: "You smell like a dead cat!."

Clearly traumatized, the girl runs to her mom, tears running down her cheeks. Her mom simply says that the boy was acting like a jerk to her because he liked her!

That was a tada! moment... Girls are conditioned early on to accept boys' jerkfaceness as a sign that they like them. Do any guys remember acting like a complete a$$ hole to a girl because they liked them? I mean, is this a lie that has spread throughout the generations to makes us girls feel better about ourselves? Is this why we're attracted to guys who are a$$holes...because of some lie that we were told as young girls? Because I remember a guy that asked me out in first grade (i know!) was sweet as a pie to me. (I later felt nausceous and was crying all the way home on the bus after the incident...but that's another story :P ).

Another point made throughout the film was that if a guy is interested in you, he will make it known and act on it. For example, Girls tend to read way to much into the actions and words of the opposite sex. We put all the details togethor and we swear deep in our hearts that the boy must like us. But then why isn't he calling or making a move?? Then girls rationalize the guy's actions with the help of our best friends....maybe he's tooo shy....or he's intimidated by our success....or that he's really busy...yadayadayada. The point is that us girls just can't get to the point. Maybe the reason he didn't call is because, well, he's just not that into us. Instead accepting that idea , we find ways to "skirt" around it.

However, I refuse to accept that boys are as simple as that.

Yet another topic broached in the film is that females like the idea of "changing" a guy and making him a better person. We believe that once he likes us, we have the power to change his habits....that we will be the exception to the rule and be unlike any other girl he has met. However, Justin Long's character, Alex stresses to Ginnifer Goodwin's character Gigi, that we are always always the rule, not the exception....even though we'd like to believe we are otherwise. Jennifer Aniston's character desparately wants to get married to her boyfriend of seven years, but he refuses the idea of marriage even though he's willing to stay committed to her. Although Aniston may know of a couple who finally got hitched after several years of dating, those people are the exception to the rule. Simply put, Aniston shouldn't get her hopes up and try to change her man...because it's never going to happen. How reassuring, no? Although we can save ourselves from a world of hurt if we realized this early on in a relationship...

Of course, there are alot of flaws in the film's noncohesive plot. Goodwin's portrayal as a uberpsychotic, exaggerated, and obsessed female seems to paint all women as neurotic. (Almost) all the characters get a happy ending. And most of the advice that Alex doles out gets thrown out of the window in the end. Nevertheless, I felt that the points mentioned above were interesting enough to share.

Any guys out there willing to share some more "he's just not that into you" words of wisdom to us neurotic, obsessed females?



Lijo said...

I have to say that the second point you made works both ways. Sometimes misinterpret a girl's body language or words and think that's a sign.

And everyone is neurotic. Well, to some degree anyways.

Anonymous said...

On the note: if a guy is interested in you, he will make it known and act on it -- men are a superstitious and cowardly lot. Some actually won't make it known or act on it.