Are We Still Stuck in the '30s?

Last night, instead of studying for my upcoming GRE, I watched the most vapid film I have seen in a long time. Maybe in this whole year.

That movie: Confessions of a Shopaholic. To be fair, I had really low expectations for the film. I had heard that it had been well received because of its fantasy element.

The movie, which glamorizes shopping, consumerism, hell, even credit card debt, was released squarely in the depths of a recession. Like the musicals of the '30s, it was advertised as a fluff piece, a guilty pleasure that was made to take our minds off of reality and allow us to ride the American Dream train once again. It was hailed for its ability to cure the depressed masses, at least for the hour and a half spent in the theatre and maybe another half an hour of afterglow.

But this picture wasn't all sugar-spun dreamy. If anything, the connection I made to the '30s Technicolor musical masterpieces (the film industry's reaction to the Great Depression), was the rampant sexual stereotyping.

Apparently, the film is based on a best-selling book written by a woman. I haven't read it, so I can't speak to that text. But my god, I have not seen such one-dimensional portrayals of the sexes in a long time. Going back to the screwball comedies/romantic musicals from back in the day, the movie features the archetypal foolish-girl-who-needs-saving and the rational-minded-man-who-does-the-saving.

My number one comment during the movie: this girl is a HOTTTTTTT mess. Seriously, the ditsy, clumsy, completely lala girl is just not funny anymore. I could tell the parts during the movie where I as the audience member was supposed to laugh but, the character just wasn't funny. She was pathetic. She had a disorder, albeit an addiction to shopping, which I feel was never properly addressed. I know credit card debt is a plague on this country. Believe me, after working nearly a year at a bank, I KNOW. I realize people have made some bad choices. This movie wasn't about that. The main character Becky, was driven totally by the irrational. It wasn't even that she only thought about herself, I felt like this character just lacked the ability to think at all. I know that sounds harsh but I just could not care about this girl at all.

And it wasn't just her character. There was a clear gender line. The women in the movie were all loopy, all driven by their id. They behaved like animals in stores. All they cared about was the material, having things they had no need for. They best word to describe these women: frivolous. There was one shopaholic man that stood out but, as usual, he was played for gay.

The men of course, were needed to ground the women. To deliver advice, to save them for themselves. To fix their blunders in social situations because the girls were awkward or clumsy. To be the voice of reason. They knew how to manager their finances. Clearly, the movie was sending the message that men never mismanage their funds, that's something that women do. And that's just not true in real life; men might spend their money on different products but, they are just as guilty of overspending.

Honestly, the whole time I was watching the movie, I couldn't help but wonder, why doesn't she just sell the stuff she doesn't use on Ebay? But then, I guess there wouldn't have been a movie. Then again, what's the point of mindless entertainment if it doesn't actually entertain you?

The Way You Make Us Feel

As you may have noticed, Bitch, please has been on something of a summer hiatus.

But we're back and more opinionated than ever!

This being the day of MJ's memorial I thought it was only right that this return post be something of a tribute to Michael.

Say what you will about Michael Jackson (and there really are so many different aspects about him, and hey, please feel free to comment), this performer truly broke racial boundaries. It's as though he saw the line, considered it for a second, and then just moonwalked across it. Without him, I can't help but feel that the musical industry would be completely different.

He was the original boy bander. Not only did the Jackson Five's first four singles climb to the top of the charts but, they also played instruments. And his solo albums were like lightning in a frickin bottle. Thriller topped the charts for well over a year. Every single song from that album (except for his collab with Paul McCartney) struck gold. From that point on, good or bad, he was an icon.

Michael is the undisputed king of music videos. Even the hardest cynics have to got to have a soft spot for at least one of his cinematic masterpieces. Despite constant questioning of his racial identity, MJ took on so many firsts for a Black artist. He was the first African-American to be featured on MTV. When the network demonstrated a reluctance to air videos by people of color, Michael and his team showed it that it would be MTV's loss not to air his 'short films.' Since MTV appears to only play reruns of the Hills and endless Road Rules/Real World Challenges, it might be hard to image a time when they were all about the videos. But back in the day, an MJ video premiere was a major event. I wasn't around in '84 but to this day, I get excited when one of the music channels kicks it old school and plays Thriller or Beat It.

Even though his personal life was a mess at times, professionally, Michael was an innovator. That choreography. The live performances. His fashion. Those lyrics. The over-the-top public persona. The undeniable dance beats. Even the philanthropic work he did. All brilliant.

Michael was a global ambassador of American culture. And even in death, he has somehow managed to influence the world. MJ, we tip our fedoras to you.

Gosselin's Big Announcement..

"Hug me"

As you all must have heard, Jon and Kate Gosselin have a big announcement to reveal on Monday. ahhh! "Life changing decisions," they say...ones that will give them "peace." Most people are guessing that it's a divorce announcement...but I say bahh to that. What reality show couple files for divorce without meeting with Dr. Phil first? So I am here to take a guess as to what the big news is.

A) They are having twins! Babies fix all marital problems!

B) They are kicking Mady out of the family. A decision that will surely give everyone more peace.

C) They are going to take a break from the show and talk it out... No, that's not realistic.

D) They're going to DisneyWorld!!!

Honestly though, I hope they take option C. I guess we'll all have to tune in on Monday to find out. This better not be a ploy by TLC to get higher ratings.

For nostalgia's sake, take a look at their vow renewal just last year. What a difference one year can make. (sorry cannot embed the video, so you must watch it on YouTube)

Life is Short. Have an Affair.

"Life is Short. Have an Affair"

That is the banner that welcomes you to AshleyMadison.com--a married dating and affairs site.

I first heard their infamous slogan when I was listening to the radio one night. The commercial was intentionally spare and intriguing. A dating website for married people?

I had to find out more.

I googled "Ashley Madison" and lo and behold! The site is real! This is not some swingers website where couples look for extramarital adventure together; this is a place where individuals who are either married or are in committed relationships try to find others like them so they can have affairs...yes, the kind of affair that your partner doesn't know about.

Cheating 2.0.



The president of Ashley Madison, Noel Biderman, has gotten alot of media scrutiny over his controversial cheating site. He's been sliced and diced on Tyra, the View, CNN, etc

His justification is that this site doesn't make people cheat. He says people that are going to cheat, will cheat. Why not be smart and discrete about it so that your parter doesn't find out? Translation: The ultimate choice to cheat is yours, America. There will be no blood on Mr. Biderman's hands for families torn apart by infidelity.

What kind of crap of an excuse is that? It's like saying, people are going to kill each other anyway, let's provide easy access to guns.

Mr. Biderman is filth and his website makes me nauseous: it encourages liars and cheats to continue lying and cheating and it glamourizes The Affair-- as popular culture has done since forever.

What about effin' loyalty? Is that no longer sacred? On the heels of the Jon & Kate mess and Elizabeth Edward's new autobiography that touches upon John's affair, the topic of infidelity has been all over the headlines.

A little off topic here but for those following along with the Jon & Kate drama (notice I refuse to say reality), I can speak for most when I say that it is disheartening to watch this show.

There is no joy watching Jon and Kate pretend to be a family on TV. The show isn't even about the adorable kids anymore but their marital problems. He is allegedly having an affair with 23 year old school teacher and she is supposedly hooking up with her body-guard.

Just from the Season Premiere a few weeks ago you can tell that Jon and Kate are not living under the same roof. They admit going through a rough patch although they both claim that they're in it for the family. BULLSHIT.

The way they have been acting is completely selfish. They deliberately act like a family on TV not for the welfare of their eight kids but what seems like their own vanity. Jon's acting like a 20 something bachelor and Kate's being swept away by the glitz and glamour of fame and money.

They need to put fame on hold for the sake of preserving their family.

I'm slowing weaning off this show. I don't think I can watch this trainwreck any longer. Will you continue to watch the Jon & Kate mess?

-C

Errbody in the corner has swagga like us, swagga swagga like us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, today we would like to comemmorate the death of a word. Swagger...Swagga...Swag...whatever you like to call it is has officially died.

Song after numerous song had tried to insert Swagger somewhere in its lyrics until finally Swagger took its last breath.

The time of death cannot be certain but it could lay anywhere between Soulja Boy's aptly titled, "Swag," T.I., Lil Wayne and JayZ's "Swagger Like Us" ...or quite frankly, anything done by Lil' Wayne.

Swag's short life span in mainstream vernacular has taken a toll on the actual meaning of the word. Before it's exploitation during the PLWE (that is, the Pre- Lil' Wayne Era), Swagger had often times been confused with Stagger, as the two words sound very much alike. However, the crux of Swag's definition is that a person who possesses it "walks boldly, steadily" and "with an air of confidence"-- not like the latter's definition of "tottering" around.

Now apparently everyone in da' corner has swagga like us, swagga swagga like us.

During its heydey, many of Swagger's competitors had gone into hiding. Every word from Confidence to Charisma to Mojo to Gusto had been placed under the umbrella of Swagger. We tried to reach out to some of these antonymns but none were brave enough to respond.... perhaps they had no Swagger themselves?

Someone was kind enough to compile a playlist --a memorial of sorts--so that we can never forget the contribution that Swagger has made to the musical world. The list isn't complete, but nevertheless, it hints at how far and wide Swagger has travelled into our ears and inside hearts and eventually out to the vomit receptacles where overused words eventually end up.

Please, ladies and gents, do not give hope up on Swagger. We pray everyday that its elusiveness and integrity may one day be restored.

Till then....In memoriam, Swagger, in memoriam.

What ignoramus is behind the Burger King ads???

Before I begin, I just wanted to say "Amen" to D's post below! Ughhh nothing's worse than an unwelcomed grinder.

Speaking of grinding, did you happen to catch Burger King's lastest commercial?

I just happened to see it on TV and found it really disturbing.

Instead of dancing to Sir Mixalots' "I like big butts," dancers were booty shaking it to "I like square butts" with square boxes stuck atop their deriere, all the while promoting flame-broiled goodness. Naturally the King was all up on the dancers, grinning like a pervert. First of all, what the H do booty dancers have to do with my hamburger??!??

Second-and here's the kicker-this commercial was for the BK Kid's Meal. Booty dancing and a creepy King for a Kid's meal commercial? This perverseness is not new when talking about BK. They have been putting out a slew of contraversial commercials. Remember when they taste tested the Whopper with people from the most isolated part of the world in order to get their pure, untainted opinion of it? Div wrote a great blog on it a whiles back. I'll post it when I find it. They also promoted their miniburgers, the BK stacker, by using midget actors.

What do you think of BK's line of ads recently? A bit much?

Baby When We're Grinding It's Not Delighting

Remember that 90s jam from Next, “Too Close?” Need a refresher? It goes something like this: “Baby, when we’re grinding/ I get so excited/ Ooh how I like it/ I try but I can’t fight it.”

And then the girl goes: “Step back you’re dancing kinda close/ I feel a little poke coming through/ on you.”

I’ll admit, as an innocent grade schooler at the time, I had no idea what this song was Really about. I just thought it had a nice beat. This song’s been getting a lot of airplay recently on the Rockford station 97ZOK. And as a grown woman, I have to say, this song perfectly describes the awkward experience that is grinding.

I’ve been meaning to write about this for quite a while now but haven’t had enough time to hammer out a post that would do the topic justice.

As a woman, how many times have you been innocently getting down on the dance floor with your girls (or whomever) when all of a sudden, your backside has been assaulted by a desperate male. He might start off just dancing up on you, which at first, I’ll admit can be flattering, in the way that getting hit on can be flattering and (not always) kind of gross at the same time. But then he gets into it (and gets hornier) and next thing you know, he’s grinding you, essentially humping your butt, no longer to any sort of rhythm.

“Dude, step back. You’re dancing kinda close,” might be your reaction. But just like in the song, desperate guy likes the sensation too much and refuses to move. You walk away, dance all up on your girls, try every possible method of diversion you can think of, and he still doesn’t get it. He persists in his awkward humping. What’s a dance-loving girl to do?

I’ll share an experience. When I was in Austin, my girlfriends and I went out to this really fun bar on 6th Street that featured a huge dance floor. Shortly after I got there, a dance partner found me. At first, I was flattered. “Alright, I still have it” I thought. But after a while, this guy turned into a nuisance. He was aggressive, thrusting into me, wandering with his hands, and he kept twirling me around in attempt to kiss me. This guy was the definition of desperate. I pushed him away several times, turned my face away from him many more times, and just plain rejected his lunch date offer. This guy really didn’t get the hint. I rejected him more than I’ve ever rejected anyone in my life but, he just kept coming back and grinding up on me. At some point, I just gave up and allowed him to do this behind me while I danced to the actual beat and focused on having a good time with my friends.

I in no way felt I was leading this guy on. Yet someone later commented that this desperate guy came to dance floor with clear intentions. By dancing with him, I was somehow the guilty party. Or maybe just by dancing provocatively, I was inviting this kind of behavior. I like to booty dance; I won’t apologize for it.

On another occassion, my coworker and I were talking about going out to dance. She mentioned that dancing for single twentysomethings is all about finding a sexual partner at the end of the night. Now that she’s older (and married), dancing’s about having fun with one’s friends. But I take issue with that.

If at the end of the night, I’ve meet a decent guy on the dance floor (is this possible?), I would entertain the idea of going on a date with him or seeing where the night leads us. But when I go out dancing, I have no intentions other than having my desire to dance fulfilled. Generally, I just want to have fun with friends. Honestly, I’ve just got a dance itch that needs to be scratched.

What’s your take on grinding? Does it turn you on? Do you find it annoying? Is it just whatever? Something you’ve gotten used to? When you go out dancing are you just going out dancing? Or is the goal of your night to hook up with a stranger? Is it different for men and women?

As a woman, I’m generally left grossed out by the exchange, based on the type of guy who chooses to grind up on me. Maybe if the guy made himself more attractive to me, I wouldn’t feel so dirty. Maybe it’d turn me on. But I have yet to find a grinder I could be attracted to.

- D

Maybe Texas Should Just Leave the Union

Texas Representative Betty Brown has requested that Asian-Americans change their names so they are "easier for [other] Americans to deal with."

This story offends me on so many levels. First of all, as an Asian-American with a supposedly unpronounceable name, I dare anyone to make me change my name. Not happening. Second, to force people to change their names for voting purposes is a clear civil rights violation. And third, well, I just came back from Austin and had a great time there (though I must note that I observed Austin to be pretty White-washed).

Read about it here: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/6365600.html

Good old Democratic Party (as well as The Organization of Chinese Americans, and I'm sure several other Asian-American groups) demanded an apology. Brown gave one a few days later, and made some other stupid statements about "diversity" and "enrichment." Ya right, if you really appreciated diversity and felt that different ethnic backgrounds enrich a state, you wouldn't have made those comments in the first place, would you?

_ D

Kumar (Minus Harold) Goes to the White House

If you're a House fanatic, 'scuse me for potentially spoiling last night's episode for you. Relax, I'm not going to tell you what happened. All I will say is that Kal Penn is working for a different House now. The White House! Read about it here: http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2009-04-07-penn-white-house_N.htm.

So apparently Kal Penn and the prez got to be friendly on the campaign trail (you may have noticed their embrace at Obama's inauguration jam). And now Penn's going to be representing Asian-Americans as the associate director in the Office of Public Liaison.

Who would have thought this guy, essentially the only Indian-American actor to get lead roles in somewhat mainstream films, would have ended up helping to running our country? Well, I hope he doesn't muck it up. I'd love to see more Asian-Americans in future administrations.

How 'Bout a Lump of Racial Dialogue with Your Morning Coffee?

This link sends you to a segment from Good Morning America that played Thursday morning. http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7237067

It's not that long, so I urge you to watch it. It's not need-to-know news or anything. However, this clips provides some insights into the racial climate of today. Ugh, a conversation about race, that's too heavy for me, you say? Believe it or not, it's actually kind of precious.



Basically, Diane and Robin chat with one panel of White children and one panel of Black children about their thoughts on race and racism.

Again, you can watch it here (sorry, ABC wouldn't let me embed the footage):
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7237067

So, what do you think readers? Are kids today less racist than kids from the previous decade? Or rather, have 21st Century kids grown up in more tolerant, liberal times? Have attitudes about race shifted so severely in the last 10 years that kids think of skin color as just a mere afterthought? How have they been influenced by the election of a Black president?

My thing is, how reliable are kids anyway when it comes to measuring attitudes about social constructs, like race? Racism and prejudice are not inherent; nobody's born racist. Intolerance is something you have to be taught - by your parents, society, schools, etc. As a kid, I lived in a large apartment complex and played with a multi-racial crew of children. Save the fact that I spoke a different language from them, I never thought of them as different from me.

So while I think it is awesome that these kids seem unaffected by race (save the fact that they have noticed that there are a rainbow of skin colors in the world), I'm not going to jump to any conclusions. I'd like to see Robin and Diane have another convo with these kids in about 10 years. And if they maintain the attitudes they displayed as children, then I'd say we're on our way to achieving the post-racial America dream.

One thing I will say is that there has been a noticeable change in power dynamics in the last 20 years. Those kids are perceptive; Oprah and Will Smith are two of the most powerful people in the world. And how cool is it that they consider Michelle Obama to be one of the most beautiful women in the world?