The Fat and Skinny of It

"You can either be fat and jolly or a skinny bitch: pick one." On the first episode of "The Big C," Cathy (played by Laura Linney) dispenses this tidbit of wisdom to her high school student played by Gabourey Sidibe.

At first, this line might seem unnaturally cruel. But, it had me cracking up and got me hooked to the show. What's so funny about it is how true it is, at least in our culture.

Have you ever noticed how many comedians and comediennes are overweight? Or used to be, growing up? Why do you think that is? I attribute this to childhood insecurities. Fact is, when you're not traditionally attractive (or perceive yourself not to be, according to the mainstream), you feel like your personally has to compensate for your looks. As Cathy puts it, "Nobody likes a fat bitch." Ouch. Harsh. But that's how it feels, at least to the fat kid. So, you craft a funny persona. Hide your feels of inadequacy behind a mask of humor. And try to make witty comments whenever you can; that way, people will like you.

Maybe because I was once a chubby kid (I was pretty well traumatized by another kid calling me "thunder thighs")that I divide the women of the world into two categories. I'll admit sometimes I see a particularly skinny young woman and I will say (in my head or aloud to a friend) "Look at that skinny bitch." And when I say skinny bitch, it comes out like this: "skinnybitch." One word. Can't separate the two.

She might be a totally cool chick, but my preconceived notion is that a tall, skinny woman is somehow bitchy. This is obviously a projection of my own insecurity. This distinction also carries a morsel of respect. I have NO willpower. So if you are able to maintain a tiny frame, that earns my respect and somehow entails you to be bitchy.

The pressure to be funny or to be aloof can be suffocating. While it's hard to overcome our body image insecurities, it's possible to change the way people are portrayed in the mainstream. Maybe one day, we'll (our I'll) be able to change these constructs.

Insincere Scoldings Just Not Good Enough

I know the whole David Letterman scandal played out a few weeks ago. You might be wondering, the media has moved on, why am I still harping on the topic?

Well, I'll tell ya. While I think it is unfortunate that Dave decided to engage in adulterous behavior, I do believe it's not my business. I don't think it affects his ability to make people laugh (although he stopped making me laugh a long time ago). I do think it's disturbing in the sense that he could have been sexually discriminating in his work place. I don't know what the real deal is because the women in this case haven't stepped forward to totally clear the air. All I know is, he slept with some of his female staff over the years. Kinda gross but, I always pegged him for a dirty old man.

What bothers me is the way that people downplay these incidents. Workplace discrimination is a real, serious matter. It's not just a concern from the 1950s. After the scandal broke, I read a press release on behalf of Dave's staff saying that a number of women at his production office have high-ranking roles. I have also read an interview with a staffer who claims the opposite to be true. I know comedy to be a total boys' club - you only have to watch the Emmys or Golden Globes to see that - so I can see how there could be a lot of barriers to female advancement in his company. That doesn't mean it's OK to trade sex for workplace advancement, however.

I happened upon this EW cover while searching for something else and I pretty much choked on my own spit. The magazine (that yes, I always wanted to work at) seems to be mocking the situation. Hahaha, Dave got caught with his pants down. Oh, no. Well, boys will be boys. That's what they are signally with their whimsical "Oh, Dave" headline. They're trying to make the situation humorous instead of understanding its weight. They're implying that he's a child who needs to be reined in rather that an adult who needs to take responsibility for his actions. Sure, he made the now-infamous announcement about his affair on his show. But, had he not, TMZ would have broken it the next day. He was just saving face. And I don't think he should be applauded for that.

And Another Thing

(Because there are no published pics of the octs, here's a photo of the large team that was needed to deliver the babies.)

So, it's a week later and the media buzz around the octuplets has not faded.

I can't help but wonder, would things be different if the mother wasn't a woman of color? I asked my mother this question rhetorically, but she replied of course, media treatment has always differed for minorities.

I know that if all these babies survive it would be a first for octuplets. And that is a media-worthy event.

But, recalling other cases of multiple births, I feel as though the media has always hailed the mothers as some sort of heroes and spoken of the babies' survival as a miracle.

Now all of a sudden, this mother is an over-zealous baby-making machine. I can't exactly sympathize with her, but then I'm not very maternal and I never really can sympathize with mothers with multiples.

There are certainly other factors, the fact that she has no husband (they're going through a divorce and he's not the children's biological father), the fact that she has six other kids under the age of 10, and the fact that her father had to return to Iraq to make some money for the family.

No question this woman would get media attention regardless of her ethnic background but, are perceptions colored by her Iraqi ancestry? Women of color tend to receive more scrutiny in the news, especially Middle Eastern women. This could be a female version of the harem treatment. Opinions anyone?